Today our sw spent the whole day with us. She arrived at 10 and we got on with some more paperwork that needed doing. We then got on with the assessment, we started with how we met and went through our whole life together so far. This was then followed by a long discussion into our infertility treatment. We talked about the whole process in detail and how it made us feel, I expected this part to be difficult however, it wasn’t. I’ve been very open about what we’ve been through and how difficult I found this so think that helped me today. (Cheese alert) I’ve even said recently that we were always meant to adopt and had to go through this horrible part of our life to realise that.
Then this afternoon we talked about the types of children we felt able to adopt, this certainly gave us a bit more to think about. We know we would like siblings but we are very open to everything. It’s important for us to find the right child/ren so we seem very flexible. There were only a couple of things we feel unable to cope with and even saying this made me feel awful. Thankfully our social worker is fantastic, and reassured me that it’s ok to say this as it has to be right for the child.
We moved on to talking about our identities, personalities and health. Talking about our own identity is something we touched on at prep group, it’s not something T and I talk about very often and it’s funny to hear his opinions on different things.
When the sw left I realised how tired I actually felt after the day, still got to clean and do some school work! She’s back in the morning so I best get a move on, T’s gone food shopping.
Back in February 2014 I got back in touch with our adoption agency to register our interest. We had to wait until March for a social worker to visit us but it was worth the wait! She gave us lots more information and talked us through the process, we were amazed at the supposed speed of the new process and wanted to get on with it as quickly as we could.
Our agency only runs 4 prep courses a year and as a teacher the only one we could attend was in August. This meant that we couldn’t start stage 1 straight away but we could begin the reading now, one tip write a review of everything you read/ watch related to adoption as it will come in VERY useful later in the process. I wasn’t told this so I’m now having to re-read some things to write a review!
Our social worker returned to see us in May and helped us with the specifics of the stage 1 documents, pet questionnaires for our lovely 2 dogs, family trees, chronology, finance forms and a support map. We filled in our DBS forms and sent them off after 8 weeks we still hadn’t had them returned so started to chase them up, this was the most stressful part of the process to date. Lots of phone calls, emails and crying my certificate turned up, my husbands was still in the early stages. By now it was the start of August so off we went on our prep course, an extremely useful week in London. But this meant we couldn’t keep chasing up T’s DBS, whilst in London we saw our social worker who was pleased we were finding the course useful and hadn’t been put off. We knew that we had to have T’s certificate by the time our social worker came back from leave if we wanted to start stage 2 on September 1st. This gave us 3 weeks, the certificate kept us waiting until the last minute and eventually arrived the day before our social worker returned from her leave!
Now we could relax, well for a week.
So this is my first blog post, I’ve decided to do this to voice my feelings through the next part of the adoption process.
We are just starting stage 2, our brilliant social worker is coming this weekend and spending several hours with us on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
I am so excited but also nervous, what will she ask us?
I will write a post later about our journey through stage 1.
Yesterday I was lucky to speak to someone else just embarking on this journey. It was great to be able to share with someone else going through the same thing. My husband and I are beginning to create an adoption support network of our own and it’s slowly growing. It’s great to have people to speak to that know what is going on and have similar frustrations and joys that we can share.
One thing I have found over the past few years is that whilst we are very keen to share pregnancy details with everyone infertility and adoption are hardly spoke about. Yet so many people go through similar experiences. I have always been very open, in fact probably too open about our experiences so far which has led to a few people confiding in me for advise and support. I think we should be more open, I know it would have helped me having people I could confide in earlier in the process.
So here’s to stage 2, and only 100 days to go until our adoption panel, fingers crossed everything goes to plan!